Complex
by Ahau
Summary: Nobody said it was going to be easy. Polyamorous relationship between Knuckles/Shadow/Rouge.


**A/N:** Relationships suck.

And sometimes they don't.

Now I think these three go pretty damn good together. Plus this is something that's been sitting in my DOCs for almost two years now. Finally, I'm dishing it out to the world.

This is mostly in Shadow's perspective, not first person though.

* * *

 **Complex**

* * *

Knuckles was sure that if he actually had visible ears, they would be curled down against his head right about now. His lover had been knocking... no not knocking, _banging_ very loudly on his door for the past ten minutes. Even through his best efforts to mute out the shouting woman in the hallway, her voice still managed to pierce straight through his ear drums. It wasn't as if she was yelling in distress, no. Nothing to cause any immediate concern.

She was however, extremely angry with him.

The echidna stuffed his face into his arms and let out a weary sigh, his hands balling into tight fist on the bed they usually shared. The temptation to leave out the apartment through the window was staggeringly hard to fight against. If this had been him over a couple months ago, he probably would have convinced himself that ditching these two assholes would be the easiest way to soothe his wounded pride and preserve whatever dignity he still had left.

Though as easy as that idea seemed to be, he knew they'd just come hunting him down together.

There was a massive argument earlier this week, one that resulted in the breaking of the hinge of their bathroom door followed by the shattering a few fancy wine glasses. Violent, like most of their arguments, although this one had a real _nasty_ underlining woven within the acidic insults they threw back and forth at each other; despite the fact they for once, did not lay a finger on one another.

They yelled, they screamed, said a lot of cruel things they probably didn't mean and then she walked out. Giving him the chance to _"cool his head"_ in her absence. Or in her more accurate wording ** _, "Calm down and get the fuck over yourself._** " She claimed she was done explaining herself to him; HIM! The one who out of all of them _deserved_ an actual explanation, but did he get one?

Not a chance.

After that, he avoided all kinds of contact with anyone for the entire week. Even the other one, though he wasn't present for the argument itself, he played a big role in the secrets being held from him.

It was around the afternoon of the next day, when as usual, her intoxication wore off and the guilt that laid on her conscience was heavy enough for her to actually attempt some kind of apology. Even going as far to bother with putting up with his terrible temper for the next few days. Though like mentioned before, this wasn't any of their usual arguments. This was serious, and she realized exactly that when instead of receiving his usual tight hug and low mutterings of apologies, he ignored her. _For days._

It'd been this way for the entire week. He hadn't eaten and hadn't come out of that room for no reason whatsoever. Hell, if it wasn't for the sound of the shower or toilet at use in their bedroom's adjourning bathroom, they wouldn't had even known he was still in there.

Apart of him knew it wasn't fair to exclude the other one like he'd done the first. He didn't have a chance to explain himself and wasn't really given one either. Knuckles was sure if he was there, their fallout would have been resolved already.

He and Rouge had been getting better at communicating up until now. Both taking the necessary steps to make it easier for them to swallow their pride and admit what they needed from one another. Their arguments had lowered significantly over the past few months and kept steady at a playful bickering type of level.

This one right here however, was **_bad._**

His brain nagged at him, convincing him that there was no way he wanted anything to do with either of them. Telling him that he should do the smart thing and go on pursuit for his island by himself if he had too. How dare he sit here and sulk in his hurt feelings and fester in the despair that'd been steadily building in his chest; all over what? Some stupid relationship? A relationship that he'd been dumb enough to believe could actually work?

Bogus.

...His heart however, as strangely as it sounded to admit to himself, wasn't ready for him to hit the road just yet. It fought aggressively, exhibiting an almost unbearable strength over his inner turmoil that he was feeling to much of. That sharp pain in his chest worsened whenever he even thought of just leaving those two without resolving the problem. Frankly, it was the only thing making him stay. Even though…

 _They lied to him._

His knuckles cracked from the tightening of his fist around the bed sheets.

They lied and have been lying to him since the very beginning of their relationship; holding secrets between each other and keeping them from _him._ Throughout this entire ordeal, ever since they've awkwardly expressed their interest in each other, they've revisited the topic of trust and communication on multiple occasions. Scolded him on his cautiousness and paranoid cynicism. It had become the topic of many repeated conversations and he'd done his best to try and weave those faults in order to make whatever they had together run more smoothly. Having a relationship based on trust with one person was hard enough, but two people?

It was not easy, but he tried his hardest too because in all honesty, he did trust them.

At least he thought he did. All of that hard-work seemed to come back and smack him in the face all at once.

"Knuckles baby, come on. Just open the door. You can't stay in there forever." There was no attempt to even hold back his snarl. Just who in the hell was she calling baby? "We can talk this out if it's eating you that much." Even though she was using sweet words to try to coax him out, she sounded beyond frustrated and about to lose whatever there was left of her temper.

Good.

She deserved it.

"I don't want to talk to you." He cursed the way his voice nearly trembled. "Go away. Take that damn hedgehog with you while you're at it! I know he's there."

Said hedgehog raised a brow at the door the other was hiding behind before letting out a displeased sigh. His eyes traveling over to the annoyed bat who was starting to get tired of baby-talking their hot-headed boyfriend.

Rouge at first had been very patient and calm, attempting to be nice to him in hopes of getting some sort of truce or compromise with him. After all, this all was sort of her fault. Well, _their_ fault. It felt wrong to place all of the blame on her when he had been holding those same secrets as well.

Shadow wasn't there for the argument itself, but he's seen enough of these two fighting to know that this had not ended well _at all_ ** _._** It wasn't like Knuckles to avoid confrontation at all, whether he was in the wrong or in the right. He wasn't the type to drag things out longer than they had to be, that was more of Rouge's thing. She had a habit of running away from confrontation. Shadow was one to let her go, knowing first hand that he didn't fare well when it came to handling situations that would force people towards being honest with themselves. His words would come out cold and harsh, almost in a dismissive sort of manner.

Which was, most of the time, not his intention.

In his case, he learned it was better to let his partners cool off and come back to him on their own accord. At least by then, he'd just have to listen to them and not say much of anything to dis-courage them from talking to him.

Knuckles however, oh no. He pushed and he pushed hard. Knuckles would go charging after her, blocking her way off and cornering her until they finished what they had started. Not letting her have the luxury of just dismissing the problem.

... but now things were going in the complete opposite direction. The switching in roles was throwing Shadow off to the point where he was actually _unsure_ how to approach the situation.

So he let Rouge take over, hoping that all their efforts to get on better terms with handling their tempers had pulled off enough for them to work through this alone.

...

That was a mistake.

"If you're actually trying to kick _me_ out of my own apartment, you got another thing coming sweetheart. This is my place! As for Shadow, he lives here. Pays bills, buys groceries, cooks meals, you know adult responsibilities?" She frowned. "Not like some big baby echidna I know who hides from all his problems."

"Get lost you fucking hypocrite."

Her face immediately darkened. "Listen you knuckle-head." She snarled. "You got no right to hide behind doors if you're going to act like that. If you're going to insult me, insult me to my face!"

"Oh trust me, I'll be sure to do exactly that on my way out." _Oh no_ , Shadow sighed. This was about to get worst.

"Oh, so running from your problems now is it? Real mature of you Knuckles, you'd rather run away from me then confront me like a man. If you have something to say then get out here and say it you little shit!" Her fist balled at her sides. "I'm sick of playing baby-sitter with you! You need to stop acting like a fucking child!"

"If you're so sick of it then why don't you shut your mouth for once! No ones asking you to come talk to me!" He heard the bed on the other side creek and then heavy steps started to come towards the door. His ears perked up in happiness, thinking the other was finally pushed far enough to open the door. That's all he really wanted to be fair, he had a far easier time calming Knuckles down, but he had to be talking to him face to face. It just wasn't the same, talking through a door.

However to his disappointment, the door did not open, but the screaming did get louder. "If you'd hadn't flown away with your tail between your legs in the first place, _maybe_ we wouldn't be here right now! But no, here we are! Don't you fucking preach to me about confronting my problems when you can't even own up to your own fuck ups! You fucking coward!"

"Knuckles..." She growled his name, her enclosed fist shaking to the point Shadow was actually glad the echidna was on the other side of the door. That fist was definitely meant for the guardians jaw, no doubt about it. "You are going to make me seriously hurt you."

"Tch, as if you can."

"I will!"

"Enough." Rouge jerked her head over to Shadow. That was actually the first time he'd said anything since he'd gotten home today. "We're not going to get anywhere if you two can't talk without spitting insults at each other."

"Shadow, have I not been nice?" She gestured, pointing her hands to herself. "I've been calm, I've been patient ever since the moment he locked himself in that room. While he, has been in there for four days, pretending like we don't exist." She said pointing to the door. "This asshole won't cooperate with me no matter what I say or do. Being nice doesn't work with him. You gotta knock his big head around in order to get anything useful out of it." She glared at the door.

"Tch, what a charmer." He sounded further away this time, probably gone back to the bed. Least he didn't sound as furious as before. Shadow noticed he always had that effect on them. Though they were arguing back and forth, this was the most he'd heard back from Knuckles this entire week. The fact that he was at least at the point of talking to them again was enough to get him optimistic

"Not the time for you to practice your sarcasm Knuckles."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll make sure to double check my schedule."

"Why you ungrateful piece of shi-"

"Rouge."

She glared at him as if asking _'What?!'_ Shadow who had been an observant bystander up until now, walked over to loom over her.(She was a bit shorter when she wasn't wearing her heels.) "Leave."

One of her eyes twitched in annoyance. "What?"

"Leave. Go for a walk." Her brows narrowed at him.

"You're kicking me out of my own home? Seriously?!"

"Yes." The frown on her face deepened even further.

"Why? You think you can get further than I did when it comes to this blockhead? He's impossible to deal with."

"Getting riled up while trying to deal with him won't help our situation any. The two of you have a nasty habit of clawing at each other's throats while just attempting a normal conversation. I don't see you getting any further with him with a problem as delicate as this one." Rouge let out a puff of breath in annoyance.

"He's being over dramatic."

Shadow sighed. "You know he isn't." The bat glared at him. "You and I already know that in our line of work, honesty is not something of great importance. We have a mutual understanding that secrecy comes with the job title, but Knuckles? Not a chance. Especially when it comes to his island. He came into this relationship with already fermented trust issues and this week has only made it worst." His partner crossed her arms irritably, knowing he was right but still not wanting to admit it. It wasn't like it was their fault they had to hide things from him, it's part of their job! It wasn't like they were doing it out of spite!

"He's annoying."

Shadow resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "The both of you get on my last nerve." Rouge glowered. "But as stubborn as I know the both of you are, I do expect more from you Rouge." She made a face.

"What?" The faint quirk of his lips turned his blank mask into one of amusement.

"None of this wouldn't if happened if you'd hadn't come home heavily intoxicated and blurted out secrets that shouldn't have been shared." Her face colored. "As the person who claims to have far more class than either of us could ever live up too, that was pretty sloppy of you." Rouge eye twitched, there was nothing she hated more than having her own words thrown back at her.

"So I slip up sometimes, big whoop. It's not like it isn't true." She crossed her arms in a huff.

"Rouge." She blinked at him, watched as his gaze left hers, moving towards the door. "Go." Her teal eyes narrowed. "I will handle this. You look like you need to calm down and staying here to argue with him isn't going to do that." If there was anything that she hated it was being told what to do. However, Shadow was someone who rarely demanded anything from anyone.

"Will my place be in tact when I come home?"

A light smirk. "Sure." She groaned and made her way into the living room.

"Don't break anything, everything in here is more expensive than your gross worth." Shadow scrunched up his nose but nodded none the less. She snagged her coat from the couch and slipped in on. "I'm going out to get a coffee. Better yet, a drink. I honestly could use one right about now."

"Coffee." She raised a brow at him. He narrowed his eyes. "I'd rather you not come home intoxicated a second time this week. Who knows what you'll blab out next?" Her cheeks reddened just a bit. Great, he was never gonna let her live this down.

She huffed and pulled on her hood. "Fine no liquor. Be back whenever." He nodded and watched her wings fold into the back of her coat. She hadn't been flying anywhere, but whenever Rouge happened to get really angry her wings would spread out and start twitching like a bunch of angry veins.

He was actually very surprised Knuckles had only broken one door in his fit of rage. The echidna became even less aware of his ridiculous strength when angered, easily breaking things like granite kitchen tops and tables with just a touch of his fist.

That's why whenever these two got into it, it was best if they'd be kept apart. Rouge could handle herself, but Knuckles was a force of nature all on his own. The guardian would never forgive himself if he ever did actually hurt her.

Even though their crazy tempers proved to be more problematic than anything else, Shadow couldn't help but grow a fondness for his prissy companions. It kept things interesting in the least.

He'll never wrap his mind around how he managed to dive into this spiral of madness with these two hot-heads. It was... _new,_ exciting, even thrilling at first. But he knew in the long run, if they really wanted to make this thing between them work, it was going to take a lot of effort.

Their relationship has been getting more and more stressed and even though it was no less enjoyable, it was starting to put a strain on everyone.

Considering all aspects of their relationship, things weren't always bad. Despite the constant quarrels between those two and the non-stop bickering, there were other parts to their trio that made it something worth staying for.

Rouge could prove to be a very good listener.

She was flirtatious and playful, could be downright sinful if you left her to her own devices. She's knowledgeable about the world she lives in and helps him catch onto things right outside his comprehension. Shadow himself was convinced that there was a entire book of vocabulary in that brain of hers, solely committed to playing her tirade of word games. She was a hard one to wrap his mind around at first, but once becoming familiar with her behavior he'd gotten used to her behavior quite fast.

All in all, she was a materialistic woman living in a materialistic world; a world that she made work for herself. She accepted life for how it was and bent the rules to abide to her own needs. Her clever mind was one of the main reasons he found her so attractive.

Knuckles however, was the complete opposite. In character, in gender, in _everything._

Not to say Knuckles wasn't smart as well, but he held a different kind of knowledge that didn't correlate with Rouge's. He was not as simple of a character to grasp as he appeared to be. More than once proving to be a bit to much for Shadow to wrap his mind around. Past that title guardian, Knuckles was… indescribable.

He doesn't even remember when he started developing feelings for the guardian. All he did know was that, there was something about the echidna that strongly triggered his curiosity.

The guardian was a lot more than what meets the eye, a very unique individual.

Shadow enjoyed hearing about everything his dead culture had to offer, not taking for granted that he was being informed on things close to Knuckles heart. He was very spiritual, took solace in traditions that had been long dead for centuries upon centuries, all on his own. He decorated the shrines on his cultures holidays, paid respects to his ancestors on occasion, he prayed and meditated...

There was something deep and venerable about him. Tempered, hot-headed, and sometimes downright violent but in the mist of all that, he was such an unsullied person. The world he resided in didn't seem to have much of an effect on his character, if any.

It was like he lived and grew in a whole different world, _which in reality wasn't too far from the truth._ This was something that Shadow took great comfort in. He was just as a stranger to this modern world as Shadow was.

Knuckles, who was commonly known for being a brash and withdrawn person wasn't materialistic like his other was. He collected jewels not for personal gain or to horde them, but because he found a thrill in discovering and finding things. Going on journeys, as he had admitted before, was something he'd yearned for since he could remember.

He often used his finding as gifts to his fallen tribe on the days he celebrated their passing. The anniversary of their deaths was a day Shadow knew not to bother the echidna. He'd retreat to his own sub space and lurk around the island, almost in a constant daze. It was surprisingly painful, just for Shadow to even witness.

Watching Knuckles speak and gift ones who could never return the favor. People that he couldn't even _remember_ but felt such a strong connection too. It struck a chord of sadness so deep in his heart to the point he couldn't return to being his actual self for a good number of days.

It was around this time when he finally realized, that Knuckles wasn't the withdrawn person everyone originally assumed him to be. His content did heavily rely on the connection he had with others, whether living or dead. It was strange considering he was someone who spent his effort in pushing people away. Having a connection with something is what made him feel safe and wanted. Whether it was with the master emerald, with his island _or with a lover_. He was a never-ending puzzle that Shadow had become hooked onto, trying to put him together while discovering new pieces along the way.

In a way... Knuckles was a bit like himself. Though he was sure the guardian had much more insight on who he was than he did. Helping the echidna try to make sense of his past presented him with a feeling of achievement every time he confided in him. Before he knew it, unraveling Knuckles was something he'd started to take pleasure in. He was sturdy, unmovable like a mountain yet somehow always discovering ways to change. There was just so much more there than one could assume to be at first glance.

He wanted to see more of what this being had to offer, it was just too bad he was so damn foul-tempered most of the time.

To be fair on his judgement, Knuckles for some reason always found it easier to be more open with him. Shadow lacked Rouge's playful charm, but to his knowledge that was one of the things Knuckles liked about him. The hedgehog took him seriously, where as with Rouge, it was hard for the guardian to open up to her and have a serious conversation due to her default flirtatious nature. It had a knack of kicking in whenever a situation would begin to make her uncomfortable. Shadow and Knuckles often held conversations that lasted for hours on end, pausing in between for long periods of times just to take comfort in the silence together. Whenever Shadow began questioning himself to the point it would legitimately bother him, he'd instantly go to Knuckles.

While neither of his significant others were very good with comforting, when it came to that particular struggle, Knuckles was the way to go. He'd tell him things he didn't want to hear and things that he did. He was blunt but at the same time kind with his truth, always reassuring Shadow that he's not as synthetic as he think he is. It was almost cute, at what lengths the echidna would go through to try and convince Shadow that he was as real as anyone else around them. That weirdly touching determination he displayed, never got old.

Rouge however, was far more helpful when it came to not so personal issues. Even now going on their 11th month into this relationship Rouge was still so overly guarded. She hadn't opened up much to either of them as of yet, no stories or memories of her past she wished to share whatsoever, even though she was the only one who in their trio who actually _knew_ who she was.

Rouge had a lot of demons locked up in her closet and Shadow was determined to get some of them out.

He knew it wasn't a matter of trust, she trusted them probably more than she trusted anyone else. There were just things she'd felt better burying and not digging back up.

The only way to really get those walls down was to fight with her, nail to tooth; eventually making her so frustrated that she'd end up pouring all of those emotions out. Knuckles was very good at that, though probably never really did it on purpose.

The echidna was a different case, he was… oddly soft. While Rouge loves attention and is used to being doted on, Knuckles feelings on the matter are still conflicted. It was awkward at first. The guardian would protest constantly to being treated with such affection, but eventually, _reluctantly_ , he'd given in. It was because Knuckles wasn't use to this type of behavior that adding a little too much sweet to his spice softened him up for them.

Rouge had mentioned to him that she didn't think Knuckles realized how much of a romantic he was, in his own little way. Even if he probably didn't know what that really meant. He became flustered over little things like pecks on the cheek, their hands touching, or their eyes meeting for too long when they're not supposed to. It was endearing.

Shadow had grown terribly attached and possessive of both of his partners and although he truly did try to keep it to himself _this_ was not the time for him to do so. In order to deal with Knuckles, he had to address him bluntly and make him uncomfortable.

It was the only way to get past that stubborn resolve of his.

"Knuckles." There wasn't any demand in his voice when saying his name, Shadow made sure to coat over any authoritative nature that was trying to slip into his speech. "I'd like to speak with you."

Shadows ears didn't pick up on any response coming from inside the room, not even the rustle of fabric coming from the bed. He leaned his side against the door, making sure the other heard the thud of his body making contact with it. "Knuckles, I'd like to bring us to an understanding, but I can only explain myself to you if you let me. You and I both know I won't stand for having this serious of a conversation through a door."

This time he did hear shuffling. His shoulder sagged in relief. He was getting a response and so far it hadn't been any type of shouting. "I agree that your distrust of us is justified, but you know that if you truly want answers you're going to have to talk to one of us eventually."

It'd gone silent again. The agent frowned. "I'm right here, I'm not going to run away from any questions you have for me. It is not in my nature to do such a thing. So may I come in?"

 **Snap.**

Shadow's eyes widened and he steadily took a step back. The door had unlocked from the other side and he hadn't even heard Knuckles foot steps walk towards the door in the first place. He did however, hear him retreat back to the bed.

The hedgehog took that as permission enough to come into the room.

This was progress.

* * *

Shadow didn't expect to receive any response from him when walking into their bedroom, but it was surprisingly to see Knuckles figure on the bed. He had his face buried into the pillow as if trying to pretend as if the hedgehog wasn't there. It wasn't like the echidna to sulk. He paced around erratically in circles and bounced his knee continuously whenever under any form of agitation. If Shadow didn't know any better he'd think Knuckles was crying, but the echidna wouldn't shed tears over something like this, would he?

Just how upset was he?

Sighing through his nose, Shadow walked over to the bed and lowered himself down to sit next to him; staring at his face that was hidden away in the pillow. Without a warning he put one of his hands in the middle of the others back but frowned when the area tensed up instantly. "Knuckles..." Those shoulders flinched in response, hesitant to loosen their guarded stance. He saw his fist that was curled into the pillow tighten, knuckles cracking from the tight grip had of the bed cushion. But eventually, after a few light brushes from the tips of Shadow's fingers, those shoulders caved in and returned to their relaxed slump underneath the hedgehogs steady gaze. Shadow's lip quirked up into a slight smile before placing his hand down to rub at his back again.

No tensing this time, good.

Plus there was no yelling, also good. These were good signs. Shadow decided to push his luck even further and move closer to stretch out on the mattress beside him, laying on his back. Though the bed had a vast amount of space, being closer meant that he could pin the echidna down if he tried to run away. Though considering that he hadn't moved away already, he didn't think it would really be necessary.

They laid there for a few minutes in complete and total silence, listening to each others breathing. Shadow watched the rise Knuckles shoulders made with each breathe he took, brushing his locs over so that they swept against the other side of his face. Shadow assumed that this was Knuckles way of establishing a silent truce between them. Laying side by side until they were ready to break the ice... he couldn't had been more wrong.

Knuckles head snapped towards him so fast it looked almost unnatural. "When were you going to tell me?" Hearing the guardian speak out so suddenly startled him. Shadow brought his gaze up to Knuckles face to find him watching him cautiously, as if expecting to catch him in a lie. He was never very good at spotting the truth in people, so Shadow answered as honestly as he could.

"We had no intention on telling you." Knuckles face grew tight in silent fury. "At least-" Shadow continued. "-Not until we had gotten together the way we did." He tried to explain. "We assumed that the organization would back off and that there would be no need to tell you after they did. They hadn't mentioned anything about the island to us or any of the people we work with. There was no hint to what they were going to do." Though Knuckles was trying to keep calm, Shadow could see the sparks of rage flash in his eyes. The silent intake of breath just borderline sounding like an angry hiss.

"So, you just decided that the less I knew about what was happening to my island the better?" Shadow reminded himself to tell the truth and to choose his words carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was say something to tip Knuckles off the edge.

"We had no idea things would get this complicated in the long run." When Knuckles said nothing he took it upon himself to keep explaining. "We were ordered to observe and study your habitat and its workings, but that was it. There are many questions they had about your home and wanted the answers to them. They themselves weren't aware that there was someone living on Angel Island-"

"So you told them?" Shadow shook his head.

"No. We didn't." The hardened stare Knuckles was giving him made the nerves he swore he didn't have stand up. "We didn't reveal any information about you or your connection to the island. Even though we weren't exactly friends at the time, we knew the ways of G.U.N and how they would use you as an advantage to get the knowledge they wanted to know. So we said nothing." Shadow turned more towards him.

"Rouge and I know that there is a limit to how much you remember about your island, about yourself..." Knuckles eyes didn't waver like they usually would when they'd mention his amnesia. "-but our superiors would not entertain that idea. They'd think you a liar." _And would hurt you without mercy._ The thought of Knuckles being held by the organization _they_ worked for, tortured and beaten for information he didn't even _have_ made his heart hurt.

The pain in his chest was so unexpected he had to take a deeper breathe of air just to calm down the twisting in his chest. There was no way he was going to let anyone take the guardian from them, his island be damned. "We were recalled from the mission because we returned with unfruitful evidence that didn't support the revelation of your islands levitation. We didn't write anything about you or the Master Emerald in our reports in order to keep you non-existent. You are but a rumor to people who've stepped onto your island, an urban legend. G.U.N has been treating your existence as such and we found no reason to refund their claims and give them the opportunity to seek you out." He frowned. "We weren't aware they were sending someone else till it was too late."

Knuckles stared, his face surprisingly unreadable for once. That worried Shadow more than his previous hints of rage. It was the calm before the storm, or hopefully, an understanding being established between them.

Without the sound of his own voice talking the room was deathly silent. He made sure not to break eye contact with Knuckles as he awaited his answer, watching as he processed the information being told to him. Though it seemed his whole attitude went from bad to worst in less than a second.

"So you decided to get me as far away from the island as possible by creating some bullshit story about _'strengthening our relationship'_ so that your _bosses_ could run a research party on my home without having worry about me to interfere." Shadow's eyes widened. "Instead of telling me, so I could go deal with whoever it was trespassing on my home, you hid it from me and _lied to me?"_

"Knuckles-"

"Do you honestly believe that what you did was better in any way? Or were you not truly thinking of trying to keep me away from GUN after all." His eyes had darkened. "Were all your efforts to earn my trust and know more about me, all a lie as well? This past year, was it just a way for you to get information from me without G.U.N intervening? So you can preserve me?" He snarled. "Cause I'm a better asset _alive_?"

Shadow shook his head. "Knuckles no-"

"The both of you were pulling some ploy to get me to let my guard down the entire time weren't you?" This was bad, he was getting angrier and angrier by the second. "You were playing games with me?"

"No! That is not-" Before Shadow could even say another word, his breath was knocked right out of him. Faster than he would of thought the other could even move, Knuckles had jumped on top of him. All of his weight crushed the hedgehog beneath him.

Both of those spiked gloves grabbed at his throat and squeezed _so tight_ Shadow was almost certain the guardian intended to kill him. The vicious gleam in his eye only further confirmed that.

 **"Stop. Lying. To Me."**

Whatever he had to say died on his tongue and he stilled all movement on the bed. _'Just how upset was he?'_

Very upset. _Beyond u_ pset.

He'd only seen Knuckles this livid a couple of times and it's never been directed at him. Now that it was... he was glad he'd managed not to get on the echidna bad side very often. He was borderline of wheezing for air but he kept his eyes glued to the one above him. He didn't know how to respond to this side of Knuckles... he didn't know what he could say _period_ that would calm him down.

Knuckles wasn't thinking rationally... or maybe he was? He was confused and thought that he'd been playing into a ploy; a victim to his own gullibility yet again. It wasn't like that...

It _really_ wasn't like that.

"Did you plan to get close to me just for the sole purpose of the emerald and _my_ island Shadow ?" He made sure not to swallow his nervousness to avoid making himself appear even less trust worthy, for the guardian will be able to fill every gulp he takes. His hand reached up to cover the spiked mitt and clutched it gently in his own.

"No." He strained out. "I didn't."

"Then what were your intentions?"

"To get closer to you." The pressure around his neck became so tight it was almost unbearable; he choked in response to his body trying to force air into his lungs.

"Why?" As sincerely as he could, Shadow stared directly into Knuckles purple-hued eyes. The viciousness in his eyes threatened to make his blood run cold. But even considering the thin ice he was now walking on with the guardian, he had to admit there was something almost _attractive_ about this side of the echidna. He knew he was the receiving end of Knuckles anger, where saying the wrong thing could probably mean the worst for him... but Shadow could not help but him appealing.

This was a rare authoritative type of persona coming from him. Knuckles, which was someone who has never been interested in being in the position to be above anyone else. The lack of ego in his rage made only made him even more... _no Shadow stop, he's not playing games here._ Now was not the time to let his mind wander, not when Knuckles was on the brink of snapping his neck. Old instincts nagged at him to fight back at his assailant, but he believed that despite the guardians violent outburst, he let him go before doing any kind of serious damage to him. There was no doubt about it.

It was just how he is.

"Because I wanted to." The echidna's face twitched, a clear sign that he should elaborate his position. "It was a selfish gesture of mine, to get closer to you." Shadow tightened the grip he had on his fist. "Not for the cause of a mission, but for my own desire." This time he allowed himself to swallow with what little room he was applied with. "I was aware that Rouge knew you well and that if there was anything... anything I wanted to know I could just ask her. Though, I'm not one to feed off of passed on information." He paused, giving himself a moment to catch his words. "I concluded, if my curiosity grew strong enough, if I really wanted to know more about you, then I should speak to you myself. Not ask... a perception of you from another person." Knuckles eyes shone in confusion. "I've told you before that you were intriguing to me. I desired to be able to know you like my colleague did. Creating something... casual, between us."

He felt the hands around his neck twitch but didn't apply any extra pressure. He took a moment to normalize his breath and calm down his racing heart. "Knuckles, what I've built with you isn't a ploy of any kind. I wouldn't let you bare yourself to me like that if I wasn't serious about us. Just like how I wouldn't bare myself like this to you, if I truly meant to deceive you. You know I wouldn't." Knuckles blinked, a little piece of that anger sparking in his eyes breaking away. Though he looked as if he was just becoming even more frustrated, not knowing what he should believe about the dark hedgehog underneath him.

Perhaps that wasn't the best wording. Knuckles was already unsure of himself and how he felt towards them to begin with. Implying assumptions on top of that wouldn't help him any. A different approach was needed.

"If I haven't made it clear before... plainly saying, I am entranced by you." This time Knuckles browns scrunched in confusion. "You're such a creature of instinctual habit, so different from everyone else on this planet. From your daily drills, to your early morning and late evening meditation sessions, in which I'm..." -his lip quirked upwards, just the slightest. "- _not_ convinced, aren't times spent for excused napping."

Despite the situation, Knuckles cheeks still lightly flushed in embarrassment. That was his first sign of him doing something right. This encouraged the hedgehog to keep going, after all it wasn't often he put his feelings on display like this. If this helped re-solidify Knuckles trust in him, he was going to say what he had to say while he had the guts too.

"It was just the basic things. Normal things, but then continuing on, my reasoning for becoming closer to you became sillier. Petty little wants that someone wouldn't bat an eye at." Knuckles shoulders slackened just a bit, releasing a small bit of pressure on his trachea. "I wanted to know, if your hands were as big as your gloves made them look. Figure out what your day to day life looked like, living on that island of yours."

He sighed through his nose. "Your strength was nothing like I've ever seen before and I had a hard time believing there was so much power compressed into such a small being. You have the strength to punch a crater into a mountain and yet stand at the same height as your peers. Then you use those same hands to comfort the animals on your island. Hands that anyone would assume are made for destruction." Shadow now had both of his hands holding onto the others that was still wrapped around his neck. "You built and structured the land mass of your home and gained the trust and adoration of even the most _docile_ animals who co-exist with you on that island of yours. You're..." He took a breath. "-insanely odd. Having so much power that is probably _immeasurable_ by any means, and yet not using it to your advantage." Knuckles looked as if he was studying Shadow's words, looking at his mouth as he said them instead of his eyes. The hedgehog almost breathed a large breath of relief when he felt those hands loosen.

"I take great pride in knowing things about you that no one else does and these little things do bring content to me. Who else besides someone who is close to you can notice that your eyes are more this unnatural shade of violet than a purple or blue." Knuckles blinked in confusion, as if he himself wasn't even aware of the specifics of his eye color. "Or know that you can speak two dead languages along with our dominant tongue." He grinned. "Or that you happen to have a favorite flower." Violet eyes widened and Shadow couldn't help but raise a brow at that. He felt his heart skip a beat when the guardians lip also quirked upward, slightly returning the grin.

"A favorite flower you say…" Knuckles voice was almost too quiet to hear.

"Daffodils aren't they?" Knuckles face colored again, but he nodded. "You like them so much you spend most of your spring planting and growing them around the shrine steps you sleep on."

"That's... pretty unnerving." The guardian whispered, his frown shifting back on his face. "I don't think I've ever even told you something like that." Shadow could tell he was throwing Knuckles off guard, the other now flicking his eyes away from Shadow's piercing gaze. Not able to take all of these things into count at once without feeling, just a bit overwhelmed. "-And I doubt I'm that much of an open book to read to you."

"No you're not." He agreed with him. "It's not within my intention to make you uncomfortable." He said softly. "What I am trying to get across, is that...there is much greatness that I've learned about this world through you." Shadow raised a hand to the echidnas arm. "You are something special." He whispered. "It was wrong of me to lie to you and wrong of us to hide the truth from you. But do believe, our only intent was to protect. Am I wrong for wanting to protect you?"

"I-" He frowned. "I don't need protecting."

"You do not." The guardian looked back at him, brows contorted into confusion still. "You do not... but I will willingly give it anyway. Because it's what I want to do." Shadow's grip on his arm tightened. "I **want** to protect you."

As much as he'd hate to admit it, this protective behavior coming from him stemmed from something more _personal_ within him. Knuckles was unlike anyone he'd ever met before, but even in his distinctive person there were times he often made him think about _her._ About a blonde haired child with a smile that carried too many burdens and far too much illness for someone so young. He couldn't protect her, that had been his first mistake. Thinking he could put faith into others as she so willingly did. _Like Knuckles, willingly does._ He could not let that be the calamity in which takes away another person from him.

The guardians face had softened, no longer contorted in rage that had been directed at the creature below him. Now he just looked, uncertain. "Are you-"

"You've never given me any reason to doubt or mistrust you and at this point I don't think you ever will." His hand slid down to hold his wrist. "You're such an enigma to me." By now, Knuckles hands were just resting at their place around his neck. "I'm not letting anyone take you from me. I will do my utmost best to not give you any reason to mistrust me like this again, but know that I will always put your protection as priority. Even if it earns me your distrust."

The guardian frowned, a look of distress flashing across his face, before hiding back away in the vault it emerged form. "You're not lying to me?"

"I'm not." He said sternly. "You are more important to me than you realize, guardian. I wouldn't jeopardize what we have through dishonesty. Especially when you directly asked for my honesty." The guardian bit his lip, averting his gaze from meeting the ones peering up at him. His eyes narrowed in irritation, irritated that Shadow knew what to say to disarm him of his anger. It was a lot to take in at once, but even though his lover had eradicated his anger, it didn't diminish the hurt he still felt. His hands trembled from their place around the hedgehogs' neck and slipped down to his chest.

Shadow noticed the change immediately and lifted a hand to cup the echidna's cheek. He knew there was a storm of emotions behind those conflicted eyes of his. Knuckles sighed and leaned more into that hand.

"Don't lie to me anymore Shadow." Whatever he was about to say died when he saw the pleading look in his eyes. "No more lying to me." The guardian looked so vulnerable, it was such a foreign sight on his being to appear so open. Shadow nodded, letting the agreement that just crossed between them be left unspoken. Knuckles was not good at telling lies from the truth, him relenting this amount of trust was revealing his vulnerability to the hedgehog _intentionally_. He mentally vowed to only be as honest as he could with the guardian from now on, he deserved that much.

Not wasting a beat, Shadow sprung up from the mattress and placed his hands on the others hips. Their faces now but centimeters apart, breathing in each other's air. "You have my word."

"Your word doesn't mean a damn thing if you don't actually keep it." Instead of attempting to further convince him, he closed the distance between them and firmly pressed his lips against his. He'd been waiting to shower his lover in this kind of affection for the past four days.

The guardian was understandably hesitant at first, his hands hovering at his sides instead of embracing the other like Shadow wanted him too.

Truthfully, he was tired of being angry with them. His fury and frustration anchored him to that room for days and now he was starting to feel the withdrawal of being without food or contact for majority of the week. His stomach was churning not only from neglect but also the pressure his stress had been putting on his nerves. Still his brain argued, it was far to easy for him to fall back into the others arms. "You can't just-" Interrupting his sentence Shadow dived in for another kiss, this time in a more vigorous manner. The hands on Knuckles hips squeezed tighter, as if trying to encourage him to return his affections. Knuckles let out a muffled grunt against his lips. "You can't just do that and expect me to forgive me you that easily."

"I know." He gave the other a small smile. "But I'd like to believe I'm on my way to convincing you to forgive me. Aren't I?"

"No-" He groaned in protest at being cut off with another kiss, this time an open mouthed one that left his lips wet with the others tongue. He couldn't help but moan at his own suppressed want, buried under a tidal wave of emotions. "Not in the slightest." Shadow was already a walking furnace, always radiating heat no matter what degrees it was in the room. Sitting on top of him did nothing to repel that heat. Their mouths fit tightly together, but there was no messy smash of tongues and moans. Just a firm press of lips and tongues, slowly moving against each other.

With a nip to his lip, Knuckles was allowed to breathe, the hedgehog taking mercy on his breathless pants. "Then, I'll make sure to work for your forgiveness." He smiled, teeth glinting in the dark room as the light sneaking from the bathroom door reflected on them. "As will Rouge."

"Tch. As if."

"She will." Knuckles huffed. "Even through her frustration she did understand that she was in the wrong."

"You gotta be kidding me. We both know that to her batty ears, her name and the word _wrong_ doesn't belong in the same sentence. She's probably going to barge in here, shriek her heart out and possibly try to kill me for ruining her week." Speaking of which, Knuckles looked guiltily at the area around Shadow's neck. The other didn't bruise easily due to his dark fur, but he could see the strain he put there since he was sitting close enough. Apart of Knuckles disliked how he was always quick to respond violently. He threw him an apologetic look, not bothering to hide the guilt in his face. "I'm... M' sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He rested his chin on Knuckles shoulder, already taking notice to how the echidna was guilty staring at his neck.

"You're fine?"

"Mhm. Very fine." A kiss was placed on that shoulder. "I expected a lot worst to be quite honest. You're getting a little soft."

"Shut up." He groaned, resting his head against Shadows.

"Even at your angriest I know you never truly intended to kill me." Dark arms smoothed themselves around Knuckles waist. "It's not in your nature, no matter how dangerous you can be."

Knuckles cheeks were flushed and he didn't have it in him to say anything in return. Instead he let himself relax in the hold Shadow had around his waist. His eyes slid closed, basking in the warmth that radiated from the hedgehogs body. He should probably get up though, Shadow's legs were probably really numb by now. Knuckles was pretty heavy after all. "Besides... I think I quite look forward to you doing it again."

His eyes snapped back open. "Doing what? Nearly choking you to death in a fit a rage?" Knuckles was not prepared for the whisper that came following it.

"More like you choking me when we're involved in more _intimate affairs._ "

 _...OH._

"Alright, get your hands off me!" Shadow couldn't hold his huff of laughter, especially when the guardian practically sent him flying back into the mattress with a hard shove. "I'm hungry, so I'm getting myself something to eat. If you know whats best for ya you'll keep your hands to yourself while I do so." The agents eyes couldn't help but be drawn to follow the movement of Knuckles body climbing off of him.

"-And if I don't know what's best for me."

"There's a dishwasher in the kitchen with your name on it."

"...you're gonna make me do the dishes?"

"No, I'm going to throw you IN with the dishes."

There was an exasperated looking grin on his face as he watched Knuckles storm out of the room, _finally._ It was like a breath of fresh air watching the guardian leave the confines of this room after so many days. Shadow felt a great deal of weight being lifted off his chest.

The situation was no where near being over, but at least the problem between all of them had gotten a hell of a lot closer to being resolved. He really hoped Rouge had took his advice and calmed her ass down before she got home, because _by the gods_ , if she came in and undid everything he'd just went through to push them back into the right direction he was going burn _everything_ of significant value that she had in her apartment.

 _Everything._

* * *

"We need to get my island back Shadow." There it was, the elephant in the room had finally been addressed. It was a silent move from the bed to the kitchen, as Shadow mostly just watched Knuckles as he prepared himself a late night snack. Never necessarily hovering over him but keeping himself close by. He had a feeling there was more the echidna wanted to talk about, surely a dilemma such as this wouldn't have any chance of just being dropped. Knuckles home was at stake here, and something needed to be done about it.

Knuckles finished chewing the last bit of his peanut butter covered toast and fixed him with a glare that could've rivaled his own. "Angel Island is my home and the Master Emerald is my responsibility. There's no way in hell I'm going to let someone steal that away from me so easily. Not without a fight."

Much as he hated to admit it, Shadow knew this was eventually going to happen. Knuckles could take care of himself just fine, he knew he could. The guardian was a one-man army all by himself... but he wasn't invincible. Nor was it right of him to let Knuckles go at this alone when the outcome they found themselves faced with, was quite frankly their fault.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I need your help to do this-"

"You have it. Regardless..." He sat down in the stool next to him. "-if whether my hand is required or not, I will aid you." The guardian frowned.

"I don't think you know what you'd be doing by that."

"Giving in my official resignation form in the form of a bullet." He smirked and leaned back against the counter. "With your name on it."

"You'd be giving up your job as a GUN agent Shadow."

"Yes."

"I..." Knuckles moved to stand in front of him, obviously vexed by Shadows sudden decision. "That's not what I want for you."

"No?" He asked and leaned himself forward to breach Knuckles personal space. "Does my occupation not bother you."

"What? No! Your job has never bothered me!"

" _Has_ never bothered you, but that's not the case right now is it?" Knuckles brow was narrowed. "The issue that has risen itself has caused a lot of conflict between us. This has gotten much more personal, for all of us. I will not allow myself to standby and do nothing while you go off to fight a battle with the people I am employed by. At this point, there is no more room for denying or dismissing the actions of my organization. I'd be wronging you to the utmost degree by not helping you. Thankfully, this discord festering inside of me due to this situation has an obvious fix that is almost to easy to execute. I must make a choice." He tugged Knuckles closer by his hands, up until he was forced to look up at the redhead from his slouched position. "To choose between my loyalty to my contract, or my loyalty to you." Then he smirked. "If I haven't made this obvious enough, I'm choosing you."

There was so much the echidna wanted to say, but his mind could only successfully process the simpler of words through the amount of chaos going through his head. "...why?"

"Why not?" He parroted back. "Why not choose you? Are you saying that you don't think you hold the same level of importance as my job does."

"No... not, not really. I don't think-" Knuckles chewed on his bottom lip in frustration "I just don't think you should get rid of something that obviously supports you for my sake. This employment is important for your surface life ain't it? I don't know much anything about bills and money, but I know you need to survive in that society of yours. You giving that up...I don't like it."

"It's not about what you like." He said it harshly, enough to make Knuckles snap back towards him, that look of agitation pinched on his face. "You own a part of me that is impossible to be held down by any contract. You give much more meaning to my life than any position GUN can offer me." The guardian reaction was so rich in character, Shadow could almost hear the screeching tires of his brain coming to a halt. A vibrant red blush took over his entire face.

"Y-Y-You... you can't just..." His lips pressed together in a tight line before he had no choice but to avert his gaze downwards, no longer having any of that previous energy to argue back with Shadow any further. If it was possible he'd sure there would be steam blowing out from those concealed ears of his. "I need some more toast."

It was hard not to laugh at the others embarrassment, so he let himself be shoved back towards the counter. Decidedly, giving Knuckles the space he obviously needed. There was no mistaking the red hue that'd be lingering on his face for the next couple of minutes though. It was rare times like this where he got to enjoy this kind of domestic atmosphere, watching Knuckles pop a few extra slices of bread from Rouge's aggressively pink toaster oven; slathering them with far to much of the spread than was necessary. It triggered a strong sense of nostalgia within him, a memory crawling from the depths of his shrouded mind and into his conscious. The smell of freshly washed robes and stale morning breath, sitting only a couple inches away from him. Separated by a cold metal table covered in planet stickers and half finished juice cartons. That little girl, again talked animatedly about the different kinds of stickers she had while chowing down hastily at her peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Her smile was splotched brown and gray, teeth sticky from the messy morning sandwich she'd plopped together for herself. Hair more resembling a nest of spider webs instead of it's usual thick curls of yellow. Messy mornings, messy smiles, this memory was a warm one. Possibly a reward for him making what he believed, was the right decision.

...and then the blue light on his communicator lit up. It pulled him from the balmy sensation of that memory. Knuckles back was facing him, so the echidna hadn't taken notice to the device alerting him of a new message.

 _"Meeting at headquarters with boss man, 5am sharp tomorrow morning. His island will be out of our hands by the end of the week, make sure you let him know. P.S - Dear Knuckles. You're welcome, you fucking brat."_

He had to pause and read over that message just a few more times. _"Rouge."_ He began typing out. _"The fuck did you do?"_

 _"What I do best sweetheart."_ He felt his eye twitch.

 _"Which is?"_

 _"A little emotional manipulation here and there followed by a healthy dose of sweet sweet black mail. Don't get your hopes up, I'm super angry I even had to pull out these wild cards for that stupid floating rock of his. With the amount of money I've accumulated over the years, I could buy him at least three normal looking islands. But no, he only wants **that** one. The one that floats. Tch, ya girl's got it all under control." _It took _every_ amount of self restraint in Shadow's body not to slap his forehead. This was another thing they needed to work on, forming plans without letting anyone know what they're plotting. Part of him was a little put off by how dismissive Rouge was about Knuckles one and only home... but deep down he knew it was nothing but a front. To make her seem like she didn't feel as guilty as she did. His suspicious were further proven by exactly the next text she'd sent him. _"And tell him I have strawberry cheese cake and that if he wants any I better not hear any bitching from him when I walk back in."_

Bribery, of course. One of the most obvious displays of a guilt heavy conscious. His lips quirked up into a light smile.

They were a long work in progress at best, but Shadow believed that they were going to be just fine.

* * *

 **A/N:** Could yall taste my bias in here. This is one of the stories where you can clearly spot who my favorite character is.

Ok, I know this was a poly-amorous story pairing but I haven't written a lot of stories where we just focus on Shadow and Knuckles lately, even though they're my favorite pairing. So I got a little carried away with them. It felt really good writing about these two again.

I had more I wanted to add to this story but it was getting way to long.

Let me know your thoughts. Deliver onto me the brain juices.


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